You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I think people are normalizing furries
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Randomize
