Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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