literally had 100 drinks last night.
I met the friendliest cop last night
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
