PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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