Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize