I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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