I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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