Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
