nut hugger
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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