I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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