dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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