His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
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Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
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I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
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