is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
