do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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