Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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