Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
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