I hate all girls vehemently.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
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