i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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