Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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