that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
