I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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