He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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