As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize