Sponge bath it is.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
