We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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