Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
