I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
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