Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
