You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
