We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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