So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
