Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
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