Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
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