That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
