Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
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