I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
