fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
My cat gives me a boner
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
