evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
