just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
