this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Randomize
