Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
