I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
