just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
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