she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
You're a waste of cheezeits
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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