I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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