ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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