I think I just saw someone hide a body.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
