Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
