John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
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I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
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Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
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