I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
