I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I will pee on everything he values.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
