I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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