Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
