He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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