i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
My bed is full of blood and feathers
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Randomize
