I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
