My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize