If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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